By Nick

Once again, the Country Bears rear their ugly heads.

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Okay, maybe they aren’t really ugly, but I couldn’t resist that opening line. On Episode 26 of The Disney Exchange, we discuss kid friendly attractions at Epcot and Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World, and I ask my co-host Dave and guest host Heather if they thought the song lyrics of the Country Bear Jamboree are appropriate for young children, as some of  the songs are actually fairly twisted.

They said they never really paid attention, which got me thinking. How many people actually do listen to the lyrics?

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I thought it would be interesting to break down some of the more questionable songs lyrics, (found on wdwsongarchive.blogspot.com).

The first few songs are fairly innocuous. Then we come to what, in my opinion, is the funniest song in the show, My Woman Ain’t Pretty (But She Don’t Swear None) sung by Liver Lips McGrowl. It references swearing, but to the songs benefit, sings about the virtue of NOT swearing.

I got a woman, she’s got me.
Whatever we do, we both agree.
She ain’t pretty, but I ain’t too.
The things we like are the things we do.

My woman ain’t pretty, but she don’t swear none.
She’s kinda heavy, don’t weigh a ton.
She’s my woman, through and through.
I lover her only ’cause my heart is true.

This is followed by a song called Mama Don’t Whip Little Buford sung by Wendell.

Mama don’t whip little Buford.
Mama don’t pound on his head.
Mama don’t whip little Buford.
I think you should shoot him instead.

Is Buford a pet? Wendell’s sibling? A neighbor child? Whichever, it’s about abuse of some form or another, as well as suggested homicide.
Even Henry says “Yes, folks, we only have high class stuff on this show.” following this ditty.

Next up is Trixie who sings, Tears Will Be the Chaser for Your Wine, apparently, about a love who has threatened to leave, and who will wind up drowning their sorrow in wine if they follow this course of action.

Tears will be the chaser for your wine.
After you leave this love of mine.
Bright lights and taverns,
That’s where you’ll spend your time.
And tears will the be chaser for your wine.

We then get another song about abuse, this one clearly of the spousal variety, sung by Zeke, called Pretty Little Devilish Mary.

When I was young and in my prime,
I thought I never would marry.
But I fell in love with a pretty little gal,
And sure enough we married.

Ring-a-ding-ding Mary,
Prettyiest little gal, I ever did see.
Her name was Devilish Mary.

Hadn’t been married but about two weeks,
She got as mean as the devil.
And every time I looked cross-eyed,
She’d hit me on the head with a “shevil.”

Ring-a-ding-ding Mary,
Prettiest little gal, I ever did see.
Her name was Devilish Mary.
Her name was Devilish Mary.

A short song follows, and then we have The Sun Bonnets, Bunny, Bubbles, and Buelah singing
All The Guys That Turn Me On Turn Me Down, which is about, well, you can figure that out from the lyrics.

Everytime I meet a guy who gets me shook,
All I ever get from him’s a dirty look.
It’s the same way, everywhere I’ve found.
All the guys that turn me on, turn me down.

All the guys that turn me on, turn me down.
Nothing works for me that I found.
It’s the same way everywhere I see.
Nothing ever seems to work for me.
Nothing ever seems to work for me.

Doodle doodle do-do-do bum bump.

This song is followed by a tune from Ernest,  If You Can’t Bite, Don’t Growl about carousing with go-go girls, yep, go-go girls. But at least Ernest appears to remain faithful, though it is left somewhat open ended.

One night I left the wife at home,
And went out with the boys.
I was acting like a Don Juan,
And making a lot of noise.

A go-go girl caught my hand,
I said, “I can’t. I’m a married man.”
She said “If you ain’t gonna steal,
You better not prowl.”
Don’t do-si-do with a go-go.
If you can’t bite, don’t growl.

If you can’t bite, don’t growl.

Finally, I’ll bring up perhaps the most covertly, or perhaps, overtly, violent song of the show, one that scarred my wife for life as a young sensitive girl, Blood On the Saddle, sung by Big Al.

There was blood on the saddle.
And blood all around.
And a great big puddle
Of blood on the ground.

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Yes. I realize the songs are tongue in cheek, and all in good fun, in fact, I consider watching this show at 11pm one evening with my 2 friends during my last trip a highlight, as we were over tired and just laughed hysterically. It is a fun show, but, maybe, if you have a sensitive and attentive child, watch the show online and determine if you want to bring them and possibly have to explain where the Blood on the Saddle came from.

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